Well, yes, I already stated this, one thing goes wrong and I get blamed as bad and it could ruin my life and everything and this "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.  People "realize" it's important but it is like it's not important for me or something..  Did some of these people pop up out of hiding?  The lady already "doesn't need" me.  I have to look out for myself, and these people think my suffering makes life sufficient.

Is this exciting? or a distraction from real life?  I don't mean to throw the whole thing out.

They're just being superstitious playing with my life.

People might be ruining things for good it feels or something.. I'm tired of fixing things, like I "did something."

They blamed me about the "excitement."

I have to work extra hard for my "future" at age 35 because of these problems, and it might not all pay off.

Ohio thinks the lady gets parents and I'm trashed.  She doesn't need their help.  They will make it matter just because someone annoying said it.  They really are doing trash, whether or not people have parents.

These confines of thinking probably attracted others who know her that that's all there is to it! fix it and say it ain't so, and it's a science.  What happened to old hopes?  I'm not some idiot.

You think I need to stay on track, but I'm not even supposed to be thinking about this, according to the people monitoring me in private, or not revealing it online?

So, what gives?  What's going to happen next?

Think of all the setbacks I experienced.  You want to catch that maybe I never had a chance or right.

People just pop up to say it's the turn of an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with to feel stupid and helpless about me indefinitely and be ruined happy and silly.  It's like killing her or even her "soul," like life doesn't matter so long as I'm still in it.  ...When things were lied about apparently and already said to be okay and okay for me! plus, everyone does want to turn things around! so, I am right that before things weren't ruined!

People born around 1953 are blushing and becoming a problem, suggesting to this lady that she is the ultimate sex of being stupid because she is younger and attractive and as attracted the attention of me.  Like, "Hey, you can just kill Christina."