Well, yes, I already stated this, one thing goes wrong and I get blamed as bad and it could ruin my life and everything and this "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.  People "realize" it's important but it is like it's not important for me or something..  Did some of these people pop up out of hiding?  The lady already "doesn't need" me.  I have to look out for myself, and these people think my suffering makes life sufficient.